Welcome strangers...

Yesh, I'm back and actually I got something for you guys. I've really been in a graphical mood lately and been doing all sorts of graphics, including a layout of Trish Stratus. Now since I'm a die-hard Lita fan and actually not a fan of Trish, I don't need the layout. So I thought that I could put it up here for whoever wants it. Right now I will just give you the sample, but if you want it, you can e-mail me and tell me what you want the site name to be. I can also change the navigation if you don't want the current one.
So if you're interested in having the layout, e-mail me: andrea@wirsindeins.net.
The person who sends me the first mail will get the layout, so hurry up.



So what's new? I tell you what's new, I've totally fallen for this singer Steve Balsamo. Who the hell is Steve Balsamo? Yeah that's what I thought when my friend Ramona told me about him. But then I watched this video on youtube that she gave me and damn, he just blew me away. His voice is so amazing, it made me cry. And another plus for him, he is just so freaking cute. Seriously, what a cute man. Shame he is already 35. Duh yeah Drea, like you would ever have a chance with a guy like that anyway. But a girl can dream, right? LOL



Just look at him, he's so gorgeous. Gosh, I just wanna hug him to death. Ok no, that would be bad, because then nothing would be left of him. Anyway, I think you get the deal. I HIGHLY recommend that you watch these two videos of Steve in action. Seriously, if this voice doesn't touch you, you have no heart, plain and simple. HAHA And yes the songs are from musicals, but he's not only singing musicals.

» STEVE PERFORMING "GETHSEMANE" FROM "JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR"
» STEVE PERFORMING "IMMORTAL" FROM "POE"

Ok so like I said, I've been in a graphical mood lately and I've been trying out a new style, which I think is absolutely cool. Here are two signatures I made recently. Of course the first features the wonderful Mr. Balsamo and the second the absolutely beautiful Amy Lee of Evanescence. Tell me what you think.

» STEVE BALSAMO SIGNATURE
» AMY LEE SIGNATURE

A special thank you to Miss Nessa and the wonderful Kaycie for keeping me in their thoughts. It really means a lot to me that you took the time to read my thoughts. Thanks girls!

Ok enough rambling now, I will get back to make some graphics and listen to Mr. Balsamo's wonderful voice. *le sigh*

I know, I'm such a lazy ass. I keep promising that I will update more and I just can't drag myself to do it. Not that I don't want to, but right now everything is just screwed up sorta.

Don't know how many people remember that I wrote a while ago that my cousin is sick, but well...he passed away on the 6th August. I can't really say it's better to know that your loved one is gonna pass away, I knew but it still hit me out of nowhere. Probably because I'm such a fucking optimist, I always have hope, even if there's no hope left.
It was a sunday he passed away and I haven't been home for the weekend. Two friends of mine and myself went to Cologne to meet some other friends and just have a good time, which we did. I had a blast, although I didn't sleep much at all throughout the whole weekend.

So we went back on sunday and I got home towards evening, must have been around 5pm. Everything was still fine then. I ate, talked to my mom about the party and stuff, everything seemed to be great. Around 9pm my cousin Irenke called, his sister, and when I picked up the phone and heard her voice, I just knew. I felt right away that something was wrong and I was right. My cousin Zoli had finally passed away after being sick for so many months. Why do I say finally? Because I know in how much pain he was and although I'd wish nothing more than to have him back with us, I'm glad he's without pain now.

It actually didn't really set in until 30 minutes later, I just sat there and stared at the window until it dawned on me. I went into the living room to my mom and just cried my heart out on her shoulder. That's just how I deal with death or more likely try to, because I can't really deal with it.
My mom immediatly said that we're going to Yugoslavia, but I was in such a shock and in bad shape because I hadn't slept much the whole weekend that I actually said "No, I'm not going.". Another thing that probably added to this was the fact that in Yugoslavia the casket is open before the funeral, while the corpse is still laying in the mortuary. I just didn't want to see him, because I knew he looked bad. Irenke had told us that he lost a lot of weight, although he was always slim and that his hair had fallen out because of the chemo therapy. I wanted to keep the image in my head from the last time I saw him.

Later that night I talked to my friend Ramona on the phone, who comforted me a lot. Just the fact that she was willing to talk to me in my state, while I was still crying, helped me a lot. Thank you Ramona, thank you for being such a great friend and person in general.

We ended up getting a flight for monday night, which meant another sleepless night. The flight was actually cool, although I was a bit afraid. The last time I was on a plane was about 16 years ago. We arrived in Budapest, Hungary at about 10.20pm and found out that the cab from Yugoslavia, that was supposed to pick us up, wasn't there. After waiting for 1 1/2 hours we decided to ask a hungarian cab driver, if he could bring us down to the yugoslavian border. He did just that and we payed him 150 bucks, 50 more than the other guy would have gotten. At the border, we waited another 45 minutes before Imris, who isn't actually part of my family but I consider him part of it, picked us up. We always stay with them if we are home. So we got to Cantavir, Yugoslavia around 2am. Then we basicly talked the night away with Imris' wife Reni, because we weren't tired. I became tired in the morning before the funeral.

We got ready and walked to the cemetery, which is only 2 streets away from Imris' house. No one besides my cousin's parents-in-law were there and I was glad that the casket was closed. I probably couldn't deal with it if it was open. For the longest time I just stood next to the casket and cried.
A lot of people attended the funeral and it just showed me once more what kind of person my cousin was, everyone loved him.
After the funeral my mom and I went home, because we were done. We could hardly stand anymore. So we went straight to sleep.

I really enjoyed the week being home and I'm glad that I went. Actually I didn't even want to leave. Just stay there and spend time with my family because only god knows how long it will be until I see them again. I miss my home and yes, I do consider that my home. Germany is...I don't really know what it is, but definitly not home. Like the old saying goes "Home is where you heart is" or something like that and when I'm in Yugoslavia, I feel like being home.

Ok that was a long blog, I will write more in the next days. But maybe this gave you a little insight on how I'm feeling right now.


R.I.P Zoltan 1960 - 2006

May your wonderful soul rest in peace, I miss you and I will never forget you.
Én szeretlek!